The passages below are from Scott Belsky’s new book “Making Ideas Happen,” which I have been obsessed with ever since reading. To set up the passages, Belsky went to a storytelling workshop and is waiting to hear constructive feedback from the group after he finished telling his story.

I was grateful for the positive response from the group, but I was eager for constructive feedback. I wanted to know what went wrong. Then I remembered that the workshop operated with a very nontraditional approach to sharing feedback. Specifically, constructive feedback was not allowed. Rather than bracing myself for the onslaught of critical comments, I would have to refine my story by listening to the group’s “appreciations.”

To me, society and obviously Belsky this logic is not what we are used to as humans. We are so accustom to focusing on our weaknesses and trying to improve them, that we forget about what we do well, our strengths.

The exchange of appreciations is meant to help you build upon your strengths, with the underlying assumption that a creative craft is made extraordinary through developing your strengths rather than obsessing over your weaknesses.

By practicing the technique of Appreciations, strengths start to shine brighter and overshadow their perceived weaknesses.

As my storytelling compatriots recounted their stories a second and third time, the points of weakness withered away naturally as the most beautiful parts became stronger.

The benefits of applying Appreciations over critical feedback are quite immense. Instead of criticizing people for what they need to work we should tell them how what they did right, and then do more of it. In this way we let people do the thing that they are best at and most likely to enjoy the most.

In the book Belsky highlighted a team that told a member what they did right with project. When the team member brought back the final project it was even better: strengths more powerful and weaknesses minimized naturally. As a by-product the team’s morale and chemistry improved from from giving positive feedback.

I can see the act of applying Appreciations as a powerful way for people to find their passion. When your strengths are most noticeable you are aware of areas in which you can better apply them.  Awareness of one’s strengths will lead to better career choices for adults and better major selections for students.

The Heath Brothers, authors of “Made to Stick” and “Switch” wrote about a similar technique that uses positivity to create more positivity. In Switch they wrote about Bright Spots. Bright Spots are examples of people or situations that are successes. The strategy, when trying to change or improve something , is to identify Bright Spots – signs of success amongst fail – and duplicate it. You identify what is working for the Bright Spots and apply their techniques to the rest of the situation.

Much like Appreciations, finding and duplicating Bright Spots focuses on what is working and forgetting about what is not working. In both of these techniques you shrink the problem. When confronted by a massive problem or a multitude of weaknesses is easy to get discouraged by the magnitude of the challenge. By using these techniques one can focus energy and attention on the positives and overcome psychological barriers to success.

Below is a story from Keith Ferrazzi’s book, “Never Eat Alone” in which he describes how he went from be bored to death at work to loving his job:

But my supervisors, with whom I had already developed relationships and who were aware of all my extracurricular activities, had another idea.  Together, we cooked up a job description that previously did not exist at the company.

My mentors gave me a $150,000 expense account to do what I had already been doing: devloping business, representing the firm with speaking engagements, and reaching out to the press and business world in ways that would strengthen Deloitte’s presence in the marketplace.  My supervisor’s belief in me paid off.  Within a year, the company’s brand recongnition in the line of business on which I focus moved from bottom of the consulting pack to one of the top in the industry, achieving a growth rate the company had never known.  I went on to become the company’s chief marketing officer and the youngest person ever tapped for partner.  And I was having a blast – the work was fun, exciting, interesting.  Everything you could want in a job.

Ferrazzi went from analyzing data, something he was bored to death with, and being possible fired, to utilizing his people skills to promote.

As you can see for the example above, utilizing a person’s strengths whether it be an employee, significant other, friend, business partner or classmate, is ensure that person is not only productive, but more importantly happy.

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